abraxas inbox

[divinityfrompain]

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[righteously]

No, of course not.

Hey, by the way, when did you sign up to be my personal therapist?

[divinityfrompain]

Oh god don't tell me, you're used to dude friendships only.

[righteously]

I'm used to no friendships only. Don't judge me.

( His best friend is Castiel. Also, before Abraxas, basically his only friendship was Castiel.

He had Benny, but then Benny died.
He had Charlie, but then Charlie died.
That's... yep, that's pretty much it. )

[divinityfrompain]

My best friend in the world is a guy but he's never been a guys-guy, he's soft and squishy.

Not to gender binary it out, but girls tend to be a little better about listening to their friends' bullshit and offering thoughts and advice. I guess you could say we're raised to be sharers and carers.

So it's less me being your therapist, and more me caring about what's going on in your head and heart because you're my friend and that's what it is.

[righteously]

Yeah, that's not
That's not really a thing in my circles

( Even his mother was very... Mary Winchester. )

It's not that I don't appreciate it, it's just
you know

( icky gross feelings ew )

Whatever, you get it.
Can we talk about you for a while
How's your whole thing going

[divinityfrompain]

I know, you're all super serious badass hunters. Feelings are gross and complicated, let's punch things!

But I don't want to make you squirm so I'll let you sidestep.
Although I'd like to point out you did start out telling me your tales of woe so you wanted someone to listen.

It's okay? IDK. The Doctor says we're fine. That was very weird for us because we had literally just kissed for the first time like a week before this happened and haven't even gone on a first date.

[righteously]

Hey
Punching things is way more cathartic than you probably give it credit for. Punching things is great.

Stop perceiving me, it's gross.

So, wait
You guys had your first kiss
Then you were suddenly super-god-married, then super-god-divorced, and THEN things went back to normal?
Man, that's
That's a lot
How the hell do you even navigate that

[divinityfrompain]

I am learning how to punch things with Aloy, it's very cool and yes, carthartic.
Being an invulnerable goddess has also helped me not get easily beaten up too, ha!

YEAH. All of that is what happened.
I asked him if he still liked me (middle school like-like) and if he still wanted to go for it.
He said yes, so I guess we are!

Some really bad shit happened to me before I got here and I didn't think I could have something good again.
I don't really know if I deserve it? It's complicated. But I'm glad he's still in.

[righteously]

I don't know who that is, but I'll take your word for it.
Sam could take you out punching too, if you haven't already. I'd kill to hear about you punking his ass out.

Congrats on your sixth grade romance, though. Living the dream.


You deserve it.
I don't know much, but I do know that.

[divinityfrompain]

Omg you have to meet her. She's this badass redhaired huntress from a future (?) with robot dinosaurs.
She made this awesome obstacle course to get to her house over all these traps.

I should do that! I'm going to teach him some magic, he can teach me some punching.

It is very cute and middle school, no doubt about it. Butterflies in the stomach and everything.
It's embarrassing. I'm going to write his name in my trapper keeper.

I'm not so sure. You did see my darker side in the AU but that was still me trying to be good.

[righteously]

Wait, that was HER robot dinosaur?!

( The one he fought with Claude. Finally, he's connected the dots. He's connected them. )

My brother knows a little magic, too. You guys should do a little witchy information exchange. He was learning from the strongest one on our world, before she died and became the queen of hell.

Can I ask you a question?

[divinityfrompain]

If you've seen a robot dinosaur, it's probably hers, yeah.
She sometimes rides one around the Horizon.

Queen of Hell? That sounds like quite the step up.

Yeah, shoot.

[righteously]

What the hell is a trapper keeper

[divinityfrompain]

Wait what? Aren't you a kid of like the 80s-90s? That was your era!

They're giant binders where you store things in folders and pockets and people used to decorate it on the outside to appear cool.

[righteously]

I was a high school dropout. I barely ever went to school. I definitely didn't spend money on binders to look cool, I was too busy getting laid.

( He wasn't. )

[divinityfrompain]

LOL.

Okay cool guy.

They were very retro when I was in school, but I loved nerdy organizational system. I was clearly the coolest girl in my school.

[righteously]

I mean, you were probably hot, so I wouldn't rule it out.

[divinityfrompain]

Nah I was queen of the nerds. Academic excellence all the way to Columbia and then Yale.

Obviously also very privileged to be able to do that, but I had grand dreams to be a lawyer and help people.

[righteously]

You still helped people. Just so you know.
After everything.
Sure, there might've been a few close calls, but... I think all in all, you helped people more than you hurt them. That matters.
It matters a lot.

[divinityfrompain]

I wouldn't have, if I didn't have people like you keeping me sane.
I definitely learned a few things from that about how NOT to be.
Did you learn anything from it?

[righteously]

A few things, I think.
I learned how I don't want some things to go.
I learned how much some people matter.
and I learned that I definitely do not plan on signing up to be a god. That's never been me.

[divinityfrompain]

Sometimes you don't have a choice.
I learned that the hard way.
But I wouldn't wish it on other people.